"...but our love is here to stay."
I am planning a wedding. My own wedding, for that matter. When I first got engaged, I was superrrr excited and started looking at dresses, venues, and music to have for the wedding. Now, I'm not as excited. Maybe it's because I've become so busy with school that it has slipped to second in importance, or maybe it's because I'm realizing how young I am. Marriage sounds wonderfully fun--waking up to my best friend every morning, spending time together doing fun and normal things and loving it because I get to do it with the man I love, and knowing that this one single person is going to be with me and love me for the rest of our lives. Anyone would want that right? I believe I do too. However, I'm thinking about marriage and spending THE REST OF MY LIFE with this ONE person whom I've only known for about 3 years. Don't get me wrong, I love this man very very much and I'm really excited about living with him and loving him forever. I also couldn't imagine living my life with anyone else but him. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried about how I will feel by getting married so young. Maybe it's just the change that scares me, and not the actual marriage, though. I am not very good at change, not good at all. When I moved from high school to college, I was very upset and it was very unsettling for me for a while at the beginning. I got through it, though, and once I did, I looked back and realized that it was the change from high school to college that made me so unsettling, not the fact that I was busier than I was when I was in high school, as I thought. I think marriage is a wonderful thing and I'm grateful that I get to be married at a young age when I've discovered my other half, or more so, that God has given him to me to love and be loved by. I think marriage also has its' own stresses and downsides too, though. I'm worried about not having enough money for rent and food, I'm worried that I will be too busy with school (since I'll still be in college for a couple years when I get married) to spend quality time with my new husband or that I won't have enough time to work and make rent. I'm worried that our marriage will fail. Maybe I've read and heard of too many marriages failing and that I'm already starting to think that our marriage will fail, even before we've had the wedding! I know, I may sound crazy, but this is all coming from my heart. I'm worried and I wish I wasn't. I know (or hope...) that my marriage with my best friend will last for the rest of our lives. I mean, that's why God put us together, right? Yes, that's right. He put us together for a reason, and that reason is so that we can live togther with faith, hope, and love for the rest of our earthly lives. This has really helped me. I guess I need to blog more...I help myself out by writing all these crazy thoughts down.
I'm going to eat chocolate, take a bubble bath, and read about Sherlock Holmes now.
Ciao Xoxox
